Monday, November 2, 2009

Establishment of the Constitution

"Attention, attention! This meeting of the cats of Purr Partners is now called to order! We will now come to order! Attention!"
"Astro, you said I could do the meeting! Attention all felines. This meeting is in session. The Honorable Tia Maria presiding."
"Honorable! What are you doing, Tia?"
"Shut up! This is my meeting. Okay, let's get on with it. Astro, the chair yields the floor for the reading of the Constitution."
"Yow. Okay, here we go. Everybody pay attention to this historic first reading of our Constitution.

We the Cats of Purr Partners, in order to form a more perfect residence, establish priorities, insure a steady diet of preferred food, provide for the removal of used litter, promote our complete welfare, and secure the blessings of continuous food and attention, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Cats of the Cat Shack of Purr Partners."

"Discussion? What Pixie?"
" What are priorities? Are they good? What do the taste like?"
"They're not food, idiot! You can't eat priorities! You rank them!"
"Oh. But what are they?"
"Never mind. You'll see. Any other questions?"
"Yes, I have one. What's the preferred food? Shouldn't we decide on that? What if "they" choose something WE don't consider preferred? Can they be fired? Executed?"
"That's another vote! We're just voting on the wording of this. Any suggestions?"
" I like the idea of continuous food and attention. Maybe we should say "continuous preferred food."
"What about saying "constant attention?"
"We left out anything about toys!"
"What about having to do things we don't like to do?" I don't like that biweekly trip in a carrier to the bad place. Let's say something about that."
"Attention! We are here to vote yes or no. How many yes's do we have? 1, 2, 3... only three?
How many no's? 1,2,3,4, 5, 6 ... Okay. It's back to work. We'll try a second draft. Let's schedule a meeting for Wednesday evening."
"Hey, wait a minute! I thought we were going to sign something! I ate all day long and I'm ready to put my signature on this!"
"Sorry, Bella. You'll just have to eat as much tomorrow and the next day. I'm sure you can do it. That's a nice little belly you have going there!"
"Don't talk about my belly! You said to eat, so I did!"
"I move we adjourn this meeting, have a snack, and get some rest. We've got lots to deal with tomorrow. These humans are just impossible."
"I second the motion! To the bowls!"

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