WHERE IS THAT HUMAN?!!!!!

"Everybody needs to gather around so we can tell you newcomers what is SUPPOSED to happen around here. There is a human out there whose job is to tell our stories, and guess what? Yup, you got it... she has fallen down on the job. As the senior member here, I have taken it upon myself to give her a severe talking to, and she has agreed to do a better job. We'll see."
"You're not the senior member, Tia. I am. I was here way before you! I'm the spokescat for us now, so you just back off!"
"Astro! How dare you! You left, stayed gone for several months, and then you came back. You lost your spot. It's me now!"
"Let's take a vote on who's the spokescat. As the ranking MALE cat, it should be me."
"Ranking MALE cat? What's that got to do with it? I am the QUEEN of this house!"
" Oh, shut up, both of you. Let's just vote. Okay, all those in favor of Astro, raise your paw. Okay, that's six. All in favor of Tia, raise your paw. Well, darn. A tie. Six each."
"Bella, are you sure you can count? I'm sure I saw more than six for me!"
"Astro, I can count. You two are just going to have to share the honors."
"Fine, I call this meeting to order. Everybody, we are in session."
" I wanted to call the meeting to order, Astro! Okay, everybody, the meeting has started."
"Tia, you can't call the meeting to order twice! I already did it."
"STOP IT! What is wrong with you two? If you can't get along, we can find someone else to be in charge. What about you, Bella?"
"Me? Why, thank you, but I prefer to let someone else be in charge. It's just not my style."
"Okay, the meeting is starting. First item. Okay, Tia, what is it?"
"You started the meeting again. You said we couldn't do that. Besides, I want to do it. Everybody, this meeting is now beginning. Who's got something to say?'
"TIA! Stop! You can't keep starting the meeting over! We're already in session. First item on the agenda... Wait, where are the kittens? Fred? Windsor? Boo?"
"See, you ran them off. They'll listen to me. Meeting is starting. Where is everybody? Come on guys! Don't leave!"
"See what you did, Tia. Everybody has left. If you had just let me be in charge, but noooooooo, it had to be you. Now, we'll have to adjourn the meeting. Meeting adjourned!"
"Astro! There's nobody here to adjourn! They all left because of you! Don't blame me for this. You butted in, and now you've ruined my meeting. I'm going to get in the cabinet."
"She is soooo sensitive! Maybe we'll try this again tomorrow or the next day. There is so much to discuss. We have to get this place organized and back on track. They just need a firm hand. My work is cut out for me...."

Heart Throb and Heartache and Heartbreak

Hi, I'm Madison, You might have seen me when I was a tiny baby along with my five brothers and sisters. I was the tiniest of all! They've all gone to wonderful homes and are someone's special kitties, but things haven't quite worked out for me. I'm still hoping, but my foster mom tells me my heart doesn't work quite right, so I have to stay with her. I'm hoping it can get fixed, but right now, things aren't looking too good. But you know something? I don't care! I have a good time ALL the time! There are lots of kitties here to play with, and I really love that Wee cat 'cause he plays with me and gives me kisses. My mama loves me, but I think sometimes at night, she gets a little mad at me. I love to run jump in the bed with her when she goes to bed, but I ALWAYS wake up about 2 A.M. and I just need a little lovin'! I can purr real loud and I can make biscuits on my mama's neck and face and head and arms and chest, and well, just about anywhere. I give the best kisses too! I just adore ear lobes. I'm just getting started good when Mom says, "Go away, Madison!" I know she doesn't mean it, so I just work a little harder to give more kisses and make more biscuits! Then she wakes up and plays a special game with me. She covers her face with the sheet, but I always find it! I dig and dig and dig. She pretends to be mad and yells at me, but that just makes it fun! The best is when she covers her head with the pillow 'cause then I can jump on it and use my front AND back feet to try to find her. I just love sleeping with Mom at night! We have such fun! I like to play the foot game too, and it makes Mama scream. I'm usually pretty tired by about 3:30, and I know Mama gets up about 4:15, so I let her take a short nap before she gets up. I'm her favorite bedtime kitty. She doesn't always say it, but I know it. She can't fool me by threatening to lock me downstairs. She would miss me!
Anyway, I'll keep you posted on my heart. I don't want to break my mama's heart, so I'm working real hard to get better. Keep your fingers crossed! I'll keep my paws crossed!
Gotta go! I think we're getting ready for bed, and I just can't wait! Fun and games! Whoopee!

Okay, Okay! Get Over It! I'll Do Better, I Promise!

Okay, here' s the deal. The cats are all mad at me because I am not letting them "voice" their opinions and tell their stories at the rate they feel they deserve. I have been severely chastised for dropping the ball and being slack. They don't care that their litter boxes are clean, they have plenty to eat, and they receive lots of love - it's STILL not enough! No, they want you to hear about them and their lives, so I have promised to do better. A quick update:
Jax is with his new family and they adore him!
Piper and Sushi Lou went to their new home together.
The Alien Kittens all found new homes!
Juno, Dakota, and Yukon all got adopted together - won't that be fun!
Hollywood and Cruiser are living a life of luxury in their new home.
Crockett is the favored and only pet with his own personal garden.
And the list goes on! We love our adopters because they chose rescue kitties - the best kind!
Now, a word from Armand and the crew...
"Well, finally. She is NOT secretary material, I think we all can agree! Look how slack she is about typing for us. If she were a paid employee, she would be fired immediately!"
"You better hush, Armand. Remember these Mama People take care of us - and they don't have to!"
"Tia, you are such a suck-up! Of course they have to! They all have terrible guilt complexes and it makes them feel good to work so hard at caring for us. You need to learn to milk that for all it's worth. There's no telling what we could get them to do for us!"
"Armand, you are so pretentious! You came in here looking like something the dog dragged in, and now you think you are king of the world. Well, I know I'm lucky! I think I might be getting a home!"
"Liza! You didn't tell us! How exciting! When? Who? Oh, Liza, I'll miss you so much, but I'm so happy for you! Will you tell your humans to keep in touch with me?"
"Well, I'm not sure when, or if, I'm leaving for sure, but I may be heading north to Virginia. Seems like that lap trick I have touched someone's heart, and they're coming back for me. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but it's hard. I've waited my whole life for someone to call my own, and if it happens for me this time, I'll be the happiest cat ever! Just think. Me, Liza, in a real house with people who love me. It's my dream come true!"
"Liza, congratulations! I am happy for you as well. You have been a good and loyal friend. If you go, we will be very happy for you, but we will be sad as well. Don't forget us!"
"Armand, what a nice thing to say! You two make me cry! I've never had such good friends, and I just know both of you will find your perfect home, too. Don't be sad! Your turn is coming!"

Tomorrow: Madison and her sad little heart.

Alien Kittens Ready to Take Over the World!

"Okay, here's the deal. They think we are the average kittens, but we all know better, so let's keep things on the down low till we get a chance to take over. Got it?"
"Who put you in charge? You're not the boss of me! Cobalt, you think you know everything, but I'm in charge of me!"
"Chaco, you are such a whiner! I'm just telling you not to give away our secrets. They don't know we have special powers. Remember, just act like kittens. Run, play, jump- you know. Like kittens!"
"What about the big thing out there? That gray furry thing? I think he suspects we're not just kittens. He watches us awfully close. What is that thing anyway? He's so big, and that long fur!"
"Starburst, that's an adult cat. There's some other ones out there, too. We've got the Mom People fooled. They just ooh and aah over us. Won't they feel funny when we take over?"
"Avalon, are you listening? Don't mess up! Chaco, stop stalking around with your tail up! You look strange. Don't let them take your picture with your ears up either because they are a dead giveaway that we are NOT from here. Your ears are just too big!"
"Cobalt, stop being bossy! We got it, we got it! But I have to say, I kinda like this pretending to be kittens. It's pretty fun, and all that hugging and kissing - I could get used to it. Maybe we should consider just staying like we are for awhile."
"Avalon, Starburst, somebody slap Chaco! Shhh - here comes somebody. Look kitten-like!"

The Aliens Introduced!

"Attention everyone! Attention! It is time to have a look at some of our newest additions. From now on, it is important that they are not referred to as "The Aliens." That is offensive and hurts their feelings."
"Armand, what do you know? The Mom People refer to them as "Spiderlings." Which is worse? I'd rather be an alien rather than a spider!"
"Jackson, we will NOT stoop to the level of the humans! Aliens, Spiders! No, they must be referred to by name, as we all are. Henceforth, they will be called by their proper names."
"Armand, you are so pompous! You don't even know their names, do you? No matter what you say, they look strange. So what if they are aliens? How cool is that?"
"Tia, I am not pompous. I am just concerned for the feelings of the ali.. excuse me, new arrivals. I would not be so crass as to hurt their feelings."
"Forget their feelings - what about their EARS? Who put those ears on those things? Do you think they can hear a mouse squeak in the next county?"
"Jackson, that is so rude! Yes, their ears are a little oversized, true, but they are so friendly and sociable. You know, they're all going to get homes before we do. Everybody wants the cute little ones, and in this case, the strange little ones, but nobody seems to want us. Do you know that I've never had my own special person to love me? I think that would be the best thing ever!"
"Liza, please don't be sad! Someone is out there right now looking for you, and they'll find you one day. Just remember, Piper got a home, so you will, too. Okay, maybe those aliens (shut up Armand! I can call them that if I want to!) will be snapped up in a second, but we will too someday. Now, let's go look at at those ali... excuse me, "new arrivals."
"We are only meeting two today - Chaco and Starburst. Cobalt and Avalon are being a little shy. So, be nice everyone. DON"T call them aliens! And don't mention the big ears!"

"Mom, Can We Have One?"

"Hi, I'm Nickelodeon and this is my brother Boomerang. Have you seen this place? Look! Look at this thing to climb on, and look at this thing to jump on, and look at this cool sleeping place, and look it's a shelf to sit on, and..."
"Nicki, look! I can see some things out this window I have NEVER seen before! Oh my gosh! I've got to have one! There's more! They flutter and fly! I'm so excited! What are they?"
"Boomer, move over! Close your mouth! EEEEEEEEEEk! What are those things? We've got to get out there and get one! Mom, Mom, come here! Look, look! What are they? Can we have one? "
"Calm down, guys. You can't get out through the window, sorry. Yes, they are delicious to snack on, loads of fun to chase, but humans frown on us catching them. They're birds."
"Birds? Are they toys? Can we have one in here?"
"No, they're not toys. They're alive. They're real."
"Real? For sure? I want one. I want to chase it. Please, Mom. Get us one."
"You can't have one, now stop it. They're just to look at. You've got plenty of other toys. Play with them."
"Yeah, come on Nicki. Let's explore. I like this place. There's something on the other side of this door, but I don't know what it is. They're mighty strange looking, but I don't know. Come on!"
"Boomer, let's play chase! Tag, you're it!"

Yes, I'm a Siamese!

Yes, I am a Siamese no matter what you think! I'm a torti-point Siamese, and I don't want to hear any comments about my "funny-looking" face! Okay, I have spots on my face - they're called "points" by the way. And by the way - my coat is the prettiest here! It looks and feels like sable.
I have to tell you something. I don't like Armand. He's bossy, just like Tia said, but he's not nice to me. I stay away from him. He's always struttin' around like he's some king or something. He needs to go on a diet, that's what he needs! You can tell he's had one too many pudding cups!
Now, Tia, she's all right. But my best buddy is Jackson! He loves to play, and we have so much fun. I'm so glad those babies are gone - I'm much too young and beautiful to be saddled with a family. They were so messy! Whew! I don't think I'm cut out for motherhood, so it's a good thing I'll never have to worry about that again. I'm tired of boys anyway. My mama was right - they only want one thing, and then they're gone! I noticed I was the only one doing the feeding and the cleaning. HE was nowhere to be found! I'm telling all you girls right now - stay away from the boys! They say all the right things, but they don't mean it!
Gotta go. It's time for a little snack and a nap. Life is tough around here, but I think it's going to get tougher. There's someone new in the bathroom and who knows who it is, but in the front room are aliens! I'm not sure what they are, but they scare me. Let's stop talking about them because, well just because. I'm outta here! Come see me soon!